Mindfulness Exercise: Gentle Reminder
Figure 1-Manifestations
Set an hourly alarm on your phone with a unique chime—one that you don’t associate with any other notifications. When it goes off, pause and ask yourself:
"What am I doing, feeling, and thinking right now?" (Figure 1-Manifestations)
Take a moment to recognize whether you are experiencing any of the five sources of Anxiety (Figure 2-Sources of Anxiety):
Complexity of Choice – Overwhelmed by too many decisions
Future Perceptions – Worrying about what may or may not happen
Past Burdens – Distracted by regret, guilt, or shame
Relationship Difficulties – Struggling with frustration, resentment, or conflict
Lack of Love of Self – Feeling insecure, doubtful, or unworthy
Figure 2-Sources of Anxiety
If any of these anxieties are present, ask yourself:
Reflective Question: Is this bringing me joy, or am I letting these emotions (a mix of my feelings and thoughts) distract me?
If your current state is not bringing joy, remember:
You have the free choice to shift your actions, feelings, and thoughts.
Challenge yourself to redirect your attention to a descriptive word of loving intention—one that describes a positive response to your situation (see Toolbox below).
Act on it. If you choose patience, practice it. If you choose positivity, embody it.
Figure- Toolbox for a Joyful Life
Then, sit back and observe. Watch how your relationships shift when you choose loving intention over anxiety (Figure 3-Toolbox for a Joyful Life).
Understanding the Five Sources of Anxiety
1. Complexity of Choice
We live in a world with endless options—what to watch, what to eat, what to buy. The sheer number of choices can feel overwhelming, consuming our time and energy. Our ancestors had fewer choices but found contentment in the simple essentials—food, shelter, safety, and joy in love.
What to do: Instead of searching for the "perfect" choice, focus on what truly matters—meaningful relationships. Ask yourself:
"Am I seeking happiness through wants, or am I nurturing the joy that comes from loving relationships?"
2. Future Perceptions
We cannot predict the future, yet we often fill our minds with what-ifs, both good and bad. This obsessive forecasting fuels anxiety.
What to do: Look at your past—life’s biggest joys and greatest challenges likely came as surprises. Let go of the illusion of control and focus on what truly matters—being present with those you love.
3. Past Burdens
Painful memories of regret, guilt, or shame can keep us trapped. But the past only exists in one place—your mind. Remember, it cannot be changed. However, it can be used to make better decisions moving forward.
What to do: See past experiences as lessons, not life sentences. Forgiveness is not just an emotion but a commitment—to yourself and to others. Choose to let go and use your past to make wiser decisions for the future.
4. Relationship Difficulties
Frustration, disappointment, resentment, anger, or even contempt in relationships can distract us from being present.
What to do: Recognize what caused the conflict. Were you or the other person lacking patience, honesty, or consideration? Instead of holding onto suffering, commit to improving what you can. Forgiveness is not an emotion—it is a commitment. There is no excuse, by forgiving you will free yourself from unnecessary suffering.
5. Lack of Love of Self
When you feel insecure, pessimistic, or unworthy, decision-making becomes stressful. Loving yourself is not selfish; it is essential.
What to do: Strengthen your foundation by embracing confidence, optimism, and security. Loving yourself allows you to make better decisions—not just for yourself, but for those around you.
A Simple Daily Practice
Set your Gentle Reminder alarm
Pause and ask yourself: "What am I doing, feeling, and thinking right now?"
Identify any sources of anxiety
Choose a word of intention (e.g., patience, gratitude, kindness)
Act on it—right now, in the present moment
Over time, this practice will strengthen your ability to redirect your thoughts, feelings, and actions toward joy, allowing you to live with greater awareness, challenge, patience, and honor.
The choice is yours.